


Astrophile

by eclipse447



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Astrology, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nighttime, Panic Attacks, Protective Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Protective GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, Stars, breakdown - Freeform, forest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:27:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29126457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclipse447/pseuds/eclipse447
Summary: All Dream wants to do is help people. So when he himself becomes overwhelmed, he goes to the only place that has ever made him feel safe; the stars.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 64
Collections: Once hidden behind a smile





	Astrophile

It’s happening again, except this time, he can’t stay calm. Dream’s breath is quickening, and he can’t control the tears pricking in his eyes. Usually, when he begins to panic, he can listen to music, just breath and all will be fixed. All it takes is a few minutes to regain control. This time, however, something feels wrong. He goes through his regular strategies to relaxing, none of them working as well as expected. His normal playlist for relaxing makes him more anxious, causing his palms to sweat and his skin to crawl. Dream’s eyes dart around the room rapidly, searching for a distraction. He itches his arm, skin beginning to feel abnormal and uncomfortable. The soon-to-be setting sun peeks through his blinds, illuminating his face slightly. 

The light draws his attention away from the tightness in his chest, and he shuffles across his bed closer to the blinds. Instead of drawing them up, he uses his fingers to make a crack in the blinds, peeking outside. The sunset has a golden shine and a pink and orange ombre that Dream becomes absorbed in. Taking in the scenery, he admires the sky above's deep blue, showing the signs of the time he loves so dearly. The first few stars even began to show. Something about the night makes him feel so calm and peaceful. It feels like the night understands him, and he enjoys the quiet. The darkness makes him feel at home, and he feels alone in the best way. As the world sleeps, he's awake and can have the beauty of the dark all to himself. All his thinking causes his breath to ease on its own, allowing his breathing to return to a standard pattern.

A thought passes through the blonde man’s mind, and he springs to his feet, panic forgotten momentarily. Dream snatches his phone from his bed, ignoring the red 13% displayed obnoxiously in the top right of the screen, begging for attention. He slips on his shoes and slams the door behind him. Anticipation eats away at the tall man, as he takes long strides to the place he knows oh so well. His nervous nature alongside his anxiety has him practically running down the sidewalk, almost missing the turnoff because of this. Dream stops quickly, almost falling over as he starts down the dirt trail into the woods. The blonde falls into a daze of steps, allowing muscle memory to take him to the place he loved so dearly. Dream kicks a rock, stumbling over and bringing himself back to reality, allowing himself to take a breath once more before continuing, this time at a slower pace. Even after his rushed haze, he still takes a moment to appreciate the forest. He breathes in the fresh scent of the trees while listening to the calming chirp of the crickets. Other animals such as birds make themselves known, before seemingly settling in for the night. The woods are peaceful, and Dream loves it. 

The tress tower over him, menacing to others but comforting to him. To him, they feel like they’re reaching down for a hug, a hug the blonde is dying to embrace. The forest acts as a second home for Dream; however, the trees aren’t even the best part. The thought alone adds a rare and genuine grin to his face, the idea of his special place making his heart pound. It sounds dumb, but the clearing is the most beautiful place, especially at night. He hasn’t visited in a while, work keeping him on his toes and as a result, causing his breakdown earlier. To any average person, it’s a clear sign that he needs a break. But Dream is a stubborn bastard and an idiot, and he knows he won’t take that break. The constant weight from work and his awful mental state weighs heavy on his shoulder, the voice inside his head reminds him how worthless he is. Sure he believes it sometimes, but others he’s able to ground himself before he spirals.

All thoughts of work and stress disappear once he reaches his destination.

A large gap in the surrounding trees made up the clearing. There was a large hill in the clearing centre, with a small pond off the one side. The whole place was that of a fairytale, and Dream was glad it was hidden away from the public. In his years of coming here, he'd never once seen another person. Also, none of the woods ever looked to be tampered with by something that wasn't animals. He smiles. Without hesitation, he starts climbing the hill, eventually peeking over the treeline. His foot almost gets stuck in a rabbit hole he doesn't remember existing, as he nears the top. Finally, as the last of the sun falls over the horizon, he makes it to the top. Dream collapses on his back, panting and zoning out slightly. He takes deep breaths, closing his eyes momentarily to ground himself. After catching his breath, he sits up, admiring the stunning view. The hill's peak was only a few metres above the treeline; however, the view was spectacular. He could see the dense forest he just trekked through ahead of him, feeling homey and safe to him.

The only noises Dream can hear are the soft chirps from distant crickets and the cool breeze passing through. In the distance, he could see the silhouette of the city, bright lights and tall towers. Closer to him, however, is a collection of houses, one of which he owns. Unfortunately, since he got here later than usual, it's too dark to see. Nonetheless, Dream adores being here. He feels like a king, watching over his subjects down below. He feels powerful, feels on top of the world, feels a soft and constant buzzing in his pocket. Huh? He pulls his phone from pocket, groaning slightly at whoever disrupted this euphoria. The disappointment is washed away instantly as George's face lights up the screen.

Dream scrambles to pick up the call, the initial shock fades away. The call is quiet for a moment, neither wanting to speak first. Eventually, Dream breaks the silence.

“Hello?” He cringes at the slight rasp in his voice, praying that George won’t pick up on it.

“Hey, why aren’t you answering my discord messages,” He didn’t notice. Good.

“Oh sorry,” Dream bites his lip, “I’m not home right now, so that’s probably why,”

George hums, low and thoughtful. Dream hears him take a breath as if he wanted to speak, but nothing came.

“What did you want?” Dream asks after another tick of nothing, the silence eating away at his mind.

“Oh nothing, I was gonna stream and wanted to know if you wanted to be there. I didn’t realise you weren’t home.” The brunette explains simply. Dream nods, forgetting George can’t see him. The two fall into a somewhat normal conversation, and Dream makes sure to check on George and how he is. At some point, Dream picks up his phone, cringing at his reflection upon the black screen. He has dark bags under his eyes, his hair is ruffled, and his eyes are red and puffy. His eyes are still glossed with unshed tears, with streak marks down his face. He’s secretly grateful that George can’t see him, not wanting to add that worry to the already stressed man. That would be selfish. He cringes at himself, opting to put his phone back down on his chest.

Eventually, Dream begins to describe where he is. Not why he’s there, but mainly the location. He tells George about the forest in minimal detail, saving his breath for the stars. He could talk about the stars for hours, and if the older didn’t interrupt him, he probably would have. He really wanted to share the beauty of this place to the older without actually showing him. 

“Dream, where are you?” Dream opens his eyes, returning his focus to the stars.

“Outside George, I’ve just been explaining this” George groans.

“I know that, but where,” A glint of worry laces his voice, barely there but enough that Dream picks up on it. His breath catches.

“George, I’m fine, it’s safe. You don’t need to worry about me,” Dream responds, tone soft and calming. George sighs through the phone to which the blonde chuckles.

“Okay new question, why are you there?” George murmurs with uncertainty. Dreams hands shake slightly, feeling awful for worrying the man. Maybe he said too much?

"I love watching the stars. It helps me stay grounded and calm, I guess," Dream explains, hopefully trying to ease the brunette's anxiety with minimal detail. George hums, a long moment of silence following.

"Dream you talk about the stars a lot," Dream raises an eyebrow, agreeing and urging the other to continue. "Not just tonight, but you've spoken about them a lot before,

"Why do you love the stars so much?"

Dream answers in an instant. "I've already explained that I guess. They're just so ignorant to anything beyond them, not having to worry about the stress of life since technically, stars are dead." Dream chuckles, "But also… they remind me of you,"

"How so?" George breathes out after a pause.

"They're special George. They're gorgeous. Just like you," Dream answers honestly, heart pounding against his ribs. The call goes quiet, but a comfortable silence. After a few fleeting seconds of peace, it's broken by a low rumble, barely audible. Dream groans, annoyed at his empty stomach for ruining the moment. Thankfully George doesn't seem to have heard, the last thing Dream wanted was for George to know about the condition of the other. He can't have him worrying anymore. He felt bad enough.

“Dream how are you, like genuinely,” the brunette asks, voice soft and gentle. It makes Dreams heart churn, physically hurting.

“I’m fine. I don’t know what you mean-”

“Cut the shit,” George cuts him off, “You don’t need to protect me. You’re allowed to talk to me; we’re best friends Dream.”

_Friends._ The word echoes through Dream’s mind, not allowing him to process the words the other had spoken. His thoughts are broken by another grumble from his neglected stomach, becoming painful as it screams for nutrients. George sighs.

“Dream when did you last eat?” The blonde remains quiet, not because he doesn’t know how to answer, but because he actually can’t remember. “I need you to talk to me. It doesn’t have to be today, but you can talk to me.”

Dreams eyes well with tears, and he forces them back. Despite George’s words, he can’t bring himself to spill. His walls are too high, and he can’t find a way to knock them down.

“I love you, Clay,” George says, and Dream searches his voice for lies. There was nothing but sincerity and compassion, and a hint of something else. For the first time in his life, he can’t say it back. The lump in his throat is choking him, but it seems George understands. A moment of silence ensues, while Dream tries to even his breathing and blink away the hot tears now streaming down his face. He picks up his phone, deciding now or never as he props it up on his chest, looking at the call screen between him and the Brit. Something about watching the number of minutes tick up is peaceful.

“I just-” But before he can get his words out, the screen goes black. Dream sits up rapidly, clicking his off button on his phone until it shows the dead battery symbol. Great. 

“No, please not now,” Dream groans, squeezing his phone tight in frustration. “Not when I finally felt ready,” his voice drops to a whisper, familiar tears falling faster. Dream had always come to the clearing crying, never cried at the clearing. It felt like a sin, to become upset in such a magical place, yet here he was; choking back tears as he deals with the small opening he just made in his heart for no reason. Maybe it was a sign? He hadn’t even got a word out before his phone died, so perhaps it was a signal that he shouldn’t share. Yeah, that must be it. It makes sense, especially without the amount of pressure he was going to dump onto the brunette. It was selfish even to consider that. He’s saving George from himself, and as long as George was safe, he was happy.

As long as George is protected, Dream can shove his feelings down and cope. He’s been doing it for 21 years, and he’s fine.

Yeah, he’s fine.


End file.
